Newspapers / Grimsley High School Student … / April 1, 1976, edition 1 / Page 1
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Hioh Life Volume LV No. 7 Gtimaley High Schoul, Gieeasboio, N.C. 27408 April 1, 1976 Indcx)r Potties Installed The Greensboro School Board recently allotted $1.5 million to Grimsley High School to be used in renovation of school facilities. Specifically, the money will be used primarily in the installation of indoor plumbing in the school buildings. After studying the matter for three years, the administration here at Grimsley noticed that students who had to cross campus to use the outhouse were often late to class. In the administra tion’s 638-page report on the topic to the school board, the hope was expressed that the installation of bathrooms in the buildings would significantly decrease tardiness to class. The administration also hopes to avoid incidents similar to what occured last spring when the signs on the outhouses reading “Belles” and “Beaux” were switched. It has also been decided to begin to serve food in the cafeteria. One administration source was quoted as saying “It’s true that the World War 11 surplus rations that we now serve are less expensive than fresh food, but the School Board felt that the extra allottment may cut down on the rising number of students suffering from tomaine poisoning and malnutrition.” Considerations are being made for the installation of stoves to replace the open campfires and pots and pans to replace the wooden troughs presently used. Installation of a public address system was proposed to the School Board for funding, but war rejected. The Board felt the Pony Express system now in use was adequate for the students’ needs. Colleges Change Admission Policies Grimsley’s new $400,000 swimming pooi. Report Cards Eliminated Grimsley High School students will not receive report cards for the remainder of this year and the entirety of next year, as a part of an experiment being instigated by the North Carolina Board of Education. In a press conference yester day, l.M. Knotts, Board chairperson, stated, “We on the Board like to think of ourselves as progressive individuals, therefore we have chosen several North Carolina schools to test this innovative idea.” Ms. B.A. Tripp, head of Save Our Brains (S.O.B.), the organization that drew up the gradeless plan, was also present for questioning. “In the January meeting of the State Board of Education, we were privileged enough to be able to make our presentation between a group of first graders requesting sex education and some second graders with a proposal for a T.M. class, so naturally the Board took us seriously enough to eliminate grades in some schools. I should also like to point out that a T.M. instructor was hired and sex education is being taught in a new live-in ‘projects course’ allowing students to become more involved with the study,” said Ms. Tripp. Grimsley was chosen to head a list of ten high schools in which report cards will not be issued. A point was raised that colleges will still require grades on students’ transcripts. Mr. Knotts respond ed by explaining the A plan, as it has been dubbed. This plan states that all students shall be awarded an A for each course they choose to take. In a landmark decision handed down by the North Carolina legislature, all colleges and universities, be they public or private, must alter their admis sions policies in some manner. In this article, the universities that contain the greatest percentage of Grimsley graduates, will be discussed. First, we will take a look at one institution of higher learning in Greensboro. UNC-G. UNC-G now requires that all entering freshmen must be able to heave a frisbee 37 yards with their eyes closed. If the freshman class has too many applicants capable of doing this, all applicants will be invited to the UNC-G campus for a pic eating contest. All survivors will then be admitted to UNC-G unconditionally. Heading approximately 60 miles east from Greensboro, we find North Carolina’s largest university, UNC-CH. To become a tarheel, one must be able to repeat the phrase “I’d rather be in Chapel Hill” 40 times in a minute. Those who succeed will take one additional test, this one measuring the applicant’s stami na and general physical condi tion. Each applicant will be required to climb to the upper deck of Kenan Stadium and jump. Those applicants who are still able to move any one part of their body following the plummet will be accepted. The UNC-HC administration came up with this policy because they were told by the N.C. legislature to cut back on the number of their students. It is universally accepted that this new policy should do just that. A little east of Chapel Hill we find North Carolina’s most prestigious university. Duke University. Duke also requires two tests, the first being the “Tate Armstrong Proficiency Test” in which the applicant must hit eight straight shots from outside of twenty feet. The survivors will then be divided up into teams of five, and aU'teams will play each other and standings will be kept. During the ^ame. each student will be taking the “Willie Hodge Deficiency Test” in which hopeful must foul out of his or her game within five minutes. Once again, all survivors will be admitted to Duke. Forming the third link in the Research Triangle Community is North Carolina State University in Raleigh. In the first of the two tests, all applicants will be asked to job a mile around the track at N.C. State. Those who are run off by the head football coach will then be permitted to take the final examination. This involves sing ing the song “Thank God I’m a Country Boy!” These new policies in N.C. are to take effect immediately and those who have already been accepted to their desired university must re-apply. The N.C., legislature sincerely hopes that these new procedures have not inconvenienced anyone. Pethel Zaps Skippers Schcx)l Board Revises 76-77 Calendar The school calendar for the 1976-77 school year has been completed and approved by the Greensboro School Board. The calendar was just recently released at the last school board meeting by Greensboro school superintendent B.J. Mouse. The new school schedule was met with great approval by all those attending the meeting: two interested parents and one uninterested HIGH LIFE report er. A new starting date highlights the new calender. Students will report for registration on June 20, thus given students over two weeks of fun filled vacation. There will be no days off due to inclement weather. Mr. Mouse stated the reason for having no snow days was because, as he put it, “Snow days dampen the making up of a sound school calender.” Another major renovation the school system has converted to a six day week. Students will now be in school on Saturday instead of sleeping, eating, or watching cartoons. Time off for holidays has also been altered by this new calendar. Thanksgiving has been changed to a Sunday, so students and teachers can be off for the festivities. Since Christmas falls on a Sunday, this makes it easy to work in the school calendar.The school board found itself in a generous mood giving us the Saturday (Christmas eve) off. This gives us one day for Christmas. The school board, after some heavy lobbying by the local beer and wine distributors, has decided to give us New Year’s eve off. But we will have to come in the Sunday after New Year day. Such trivial holidays such as July 4, Easter, Yom Kippur and Labor Day have fallen by the wayside and been cancelled. These days off have been labeled “unimportant ” by the school board and have been dropped from Greensboro Calender. Mr. Mouse explains his reasoning on these absent holidays by saying, “We will get ahead of the rest of the country and Russia by taking these days off.” A new attendance policy has been adopted at Grimsley in order to discourage students from skipping class. The Committee of Attendance To Catch students playing Hooky (CATCH), whose members are Ms. Pethel, Mrs. Pethel, Miss Pethel and Mr. Pethelj has decided that the former policy was too slack to do any good. “Besides,” smirked an office worker who wishes to remain anonymous, “It .oughta be good for a few laughs.” Under the new rules, for example, if a student is absent from class, he or she will be required to do the following: 1) present three notes explaining their absence (one from Mom.one from Dad and another from a reliable witness to your legitimate abscence). Two of these must include other samples of the person’s handwriting. 2) present a driver’s license for proof of ID 3) take a lie detector test 4) answer the phone when the school calls every hour on the hour Being late from lunch results in: 1) a breathylyzer test 2) car and locker search 3) a note from home 4) proof of presence from your favorite restaurant* ♦Redness and/or puffiness of eyes results in immediate notification of the police. If by any chance you cannot comply with these regulations, you will be subject to three of these four punishments (of your choice, of course): 1) 15 days of eating in the school cafeteria. 2) 32 points off your final average. 3) Chinese water torture 4) Standing before a carefully selected panel of students and teachers, subject to their insults and ridicule. Other changes include a new timcclock in the parking lot. Students arc required to punch their card upon arrival and departure. These cards are turned in to your homeroom teacher. GHS has also hired extra security counselors, making the present counselor-student ratio 2:1. Mr. Moans and Mr. Hoola also add a word of warning to “all you front lawn tokers”. The area is now patrolled regularly by Doberman pinschers?!?!!! mm Mrs. Pethel makes a point to a delinquent student.
Grimsley High School Student Newspaper
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April 1, 1976, edition 1
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